My step-mom, Ellaine, passed away two weeks ago from complications due to Covid.
Both she and my dad (whom you may recall is 100) tested positive for Covid a little over three weeks ago. Needless to say, it has been difficult to concentrate on anything else during this time, and writing posts about fun adventures just didn’t seem that important. Hence our absence from the blogosphere for a while.
Ellaine was my step-mom for almost 48 years. My mom passed away when I was 45. I was blessed to have two moms. The “step” prefix for one was irrelevant.
Ellaine changed my life for the better in so many ways, not the least of which was how she influenced my dad. Growing up, my big sister’s friends called my dad the “Commander”. He was a bit of a taskmaster. He held everyone, especially his family, to high standards; some might say impossible standards. I don’t know if that stemmed from his upbringing, or from his time at the Naval Academy, or a combination of things, but he could be…intimidating.
After Ellaine and my dad started seeing each other, in 1971, my dad changed. While he still had high expectations for his children and others around him, he softened. He became more adventurous, started enjoying travelling more for pleasure, not just for work, and he started to realize that the money he earned from all his hard work was not an end unto itself; but it allowed him the opportunity to enjoy life more, and to spread that enjoyment among the people he loved. We owe that change to Ellaine.
Ellaine was a free spirit (a much overused term, but an apt one here). She loved to paint, she loved music and she loved adventure and travel. She was a great cook, but one who struggled to stick to a recipe, and, as a result, could never make the same dish twice! But that was ok, since more often than not, the second try was even better than the first!
She convinced my dad to take up skiing in his 50’s. And while it never became a passion for him (nor was he ever very good at it!), he embraced it because it was a way for him to spend time with me and my step-brothers doing something we all adored. Again, Ellaine deserves all the credit.
Sid and Ellaine knit together 2 families into one. All told, there are 6 siblings, along with significant others, our kids and in three cases (so far) their kids.
And while as with all families, there have been bumps in the road, for over 47 years, Sid and Ellaine were the glue that kept us all together.
We miss Ellaine terribly, and we worry about our dad’s strength and ability to get through our loss. The family has rallied in support of dad, and we are hopeful that he will weather this storm, as he has so many others, albeit a little sadder, and a little emptier. But above all, we are thankful for the richness that Ellaine brought to all of us, and to the ways she enhanced all of our lives.
Keep moving, stay safe, have fun.
Lovely tribute Larry. Our sincere condolences for your loss. Paul and Laura
So sorry to hear. She sounded like a great person. I hope you and your family are safe. Sending our love.
WOW! Larry, I am sorry for your families loss. Your memories and feelings towards Ellaine were heartwarming to read. She surely created lasting impressions on lots of people I am sure, an accomplishent a good person wants to achieve in this life.
GOD bless Ellaine and your family!!!!
Rick Newman
Wonderful tribute Larry and best wishes for your dad. Those WW2 submariners are tough old birds and I have a feeling he will do ok.
People are lucky to find one of those true “happily ever after” types of loves and your dad was extra fortunate to find two.
Of course, he deserved it having to put up with you. 🙂
Beautiful tribute to Ellaine and her large, interconnected multigenerational family. Love wins.
A beautiful and heartwarming tribute filled with gratitude and love.
Hugs,
Susan
Lovely appreciation, just what I would have expected. Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Beautiful tribute Larry.
This was both beautiful and precious. My thoughts are with all of you as you navigate this loss. I got to know her as a 10 year old and then again last year.
I’m sorry for the loss of Elaine, Larry. I hope you, your father and Gail are all doing well. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I look forward to seeing you again. you this summer.
What a wonderful tribute, Larry.
She sounds like an amazing woman … and your father a smart man to realize that (and allow himself the courage to change mid-life).
As sad as it is, you (and your siblings and all of your extended family) are very fortunate to have had an Elaine in your lives. So in addition to my condolences please accept my mazel tov (and not a small bit of envy).
Sincerely,
Josh
(BTW — they were a very attractive couple.)
So beautifully written, Larry. I loved hearing how Elaine changed your dad. You were all lucky to have shared life together.
Oh Larry and Gail, this is most sad…..what a wonderfully loving lady for your Dad and your family to have known for such a large part of your lives. So, so sorry that Ellaine has been taken from all of you. Bless her soul and bless your remarkable Dad to continue on with life. We send our deepest sympathies to your beautiful family!
Sad regards,
Pat & Bill Harris
Thanks, Lar, for making me cry like a baby. You’ve exquisitely shared the long view, not just regarding mom, but this whole collection of crazy souls. Many of us spent a half a century under SidnEllaine’s parenting. It’s hard to remember when the two names became one. But lucky us and the legacy will endure for many generations to come.
And now you made me cry. Not that it’s the dirt time…
This tribute is wonderful, sweet and bittersweet. The best of your better and better and better writings. The memories came alive. The lessons came alive. The time slowed down then blew to the present, and she’s gone. Don’t want to acknowledge it. And maybe we can live with knowing she’s looking for a piece of celestial surreal estate upon which she can share rays down on all of us – that we’ve got her love and lessons in us and what we do and enjoy makes her rays beam with pride – like from your posting.
I love their story, Larry. So beautiful. I’m thinking of you and your whole family.
Such a. beautiful tribute. I just hope your Dad weathers through. It sounds like he was a very lucky man.
Oh no, Larry. I am so sorry to hear this news. Sending prayers for strength to your father and your entire family.
She is smiling at you! Best, Mark & Kim
I cried through the whole paeon I -have to acknowledge my luck and soldier on1
Love with tears,
Sid
Oh Sid, I think of you so often. I know of your strength and have witnessed it but please pause and soldier on with others by your side. You two mean everything to me.
With love and tears,
Suzanne
Beautiful Larry. Cmon!
Larry–So sorry for your family’s loss. This might be in the top ten “tributes to my stepmother” ever written–they have a hard row to hoe with their stepkids. You, once again, were lucky. Geoff
This was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it.